Well, today was the dreaded M-day, except something was missing, it wasn’t dreaded at all, in fact, If I might add, it was rather exhilirating. For the first time ever, I woke up early, got ready to go to school, and fucking enjoyed it, it was amazing. I never thought I’d feel this way about school, but I did it. I went to all my classes, did all of my work, didn’t fall asleep, not even a dozing off. I feel…whole…I feel as though everything will be okay. I will do it, and anyone who doesn’t believe me, fuck off right now, because you’re either just jealous, or a fucking loser. For example, Sean Aloisi, yeah, that’s right, I said you mother fucker, Sean Aloisi, you ugly green little Jew son of a bitch. My journey has begun on the right foot, this is a new era for me. I think if anything, I have several prime directives charging me into the battle of education. Firstly, I really want to live my life to it’s full potential, I don’t want to be sitting on my ass 30 years from now reflecting on what I could have done with it, instead, I’m taking initiative to control my life. Secondly, I want to go to college, College chicks are crazy, and I really just want to experience everything life has. Thirdly, I want a good job, I want to mingle with decent people, educated people. You know, the rich white types of Manhattan, I always loved that city, and really, more than anything, aspire for a nice apartment, a nice woman to marry, and make my money. It’s going to be damn hard to get in my way of these goals. I want them, I want them all, I want those and more in fact. I will achieve to the maximum, and if you don’t believe me, get a god damn life. I have truly experienced the pleasure of doing my duty of being a student, and I felt so happy throughout the day, It’s as easy as pie.
I think it’s some sort of coming of age maturity that sparked me, some people take more time to mature mentally than others, etc etc etc. But, I felt as if it were necessary to perform this massive change. Almost as if, by some sort of message from God himself. I felt responsibility, I felt the looming future or lack thereof one if I didn’t do more than just well in school. I have so much running through my mind now, it’s amazing, I just wish I could get back to school, and prove myself. Prove to those who don’t believe that I will indeed come to rise, and take what I deserve. All these months of being dormant and not being productive…they’re long gone, over with, I can’t fix what happened, but, I can prepare for the future, and I feel that sometimes, what John Connor said(Terminator 1), is very right, especially in terms of self development. In terms of love, this may not always be true, but here’s his great quote:
“There is no fate, but what we make for ourselves”
I believe that, wholeheartedly, and I will make something out of myself, I’ll do my parents proud, and complete my dreams. Peace out.
