George Bernard Shaw

“First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.”
-George Bernard Shaw

Okay, well then.

Nothing has changed. It’s another late fucking night for me, April 27th, 2008 at 1:23 in the morning, and nothing has changed. It’s been a long day. I’ve finally got back into WoW, but to my disappointment, it’s not quite what it used to be due to all the changes. It’s fucking ridiculous now, and I can hardly wait to buy a new computer and move onto Age of Conan when that comes out. World of Warcraft has gone bonkers with it’s addiction to PVP and Raiding, and lack of any coherent and lore abiding story line. All simply to appeal to little douchebag kids who play the game and are most likely coming from games like Counter Strike and stuff. Games where people have no patience or even caring for a story line and just want fancy shit and running around senselessly.

But I’ll talk about the Fall of Rome to the Barbarian invaders in another post. This one is just a question to God. Why, must you torture me so God? I am left alone on this planet, not quite satisfied by anything in life, and yet you maintain your iron fist of leaving me unhappy in this life. It seems like there is nothing I can do to find that person right for me. I guess I’m looking too much for perfection. I mean, what am I anyway? Brad Pitt? For God’s sake, I’m just me unfortunately. I can’t go around expecting to get the woman of my dreams. Looks like I’ll have to settle for something less for the second time in my life. I guess that’s the pattern my life will have for a while now. I better start thinking about how to get rich. Seems like the only way I’ll get what I want. By buying it for myself.

I found this amazing Japanese/American band called Monoral. Simply amazing. I haven’t heard music this good in years. There’s one song titled “Kiri” that just hits me right in the gut bucket and makes me wanna cry. In the likeness of U2, the band hits this chorus that says “Come and save me!” It makes me just break down, and wish I could have someone to save me. The lead singer’s passion, and tone, and overall skill convey such emotion and compassion, it makes me tear up so quickly. It makes me feel like maybe there is somebody out there that can save me, but that I just haven’t met them. Even in a dark hour of my life such as this, I can honestly say I’ve maintained some hope in life. And that hope lies in my heart. As long as I know to keep doing the right thing, keep strong, and keep fighting for what I want in life, one day…I’ll have it. I’ll have it, whether it takes me my whole life to have it.

In short, I guess I just wanted to blog about the pathetic state of my life at the moment. I can’t wait until I’m 18 and I can go out and get a job. Even if it’s a small one at the mall as a Security Guard, just as a college job you know? I just want to feel useful. I can’t go through life not doing something for another human being, even if it just answering a question, or two. I need love. All these drastic failures in my life are bringing me to my knees. If I can find one true love in this life of mine, I won’t need another damn thing, ever. Honestly. Just to find that one person I can love and that can love me. Tomorrow I’ll be meeting with my best friend, hopefully that’ll help cheer me up a bit. He’s a great guy. My next posts will be pertaining to both this amazing band Monoral, World of Warcraft’s impending death, and perhaps an update on anything that may happen.