So in just under two hours, according to New York State Penal law Article 130, I will be able to legally consent to sexual intercourse. That’s absolutely fabulous considering nearly nobody waits until 17 anymore if they have a God damned choice. Hell, most people lose it at around 14. I lost it pretty late, considering I was 16 when I did. So anyway, I’m 17 now, and I feel no different. Nothing good has happened, but nothing bad has happened. I’m doing quite well in my summer school classes. Just got a 96 on a Math test. I suppose that’s something to be happy about. I’ve been doing alot of thinking as of recently, most reminiscing about my ex, whether or not it’s good for me doesn’t matter, but I guess we all have to think about our life’s experiences sometimes, even if we don’t really want to.
I really don’t have much of a choice though. Our would-be one year anniversary is coming up and I always thought I’d get to see it with her, but I was a fool then so I would have believed anything really. I admit, it’s hard to not miss her, and it’s hard to not think about her, but I know that by now, hell after the first few minutes probably, she forgot about me and probably doesn’t even remember me. That’s a saddening thought for me to think about, really. And it makes me feel stupid for thinking about her in a sentimental manner, but am I really stupid? Yeah I probably am. There are so many things that I associate with her though, and that’s what makes it hardest. Summer, especially, is one of the strongest reminders. I feel weak though. I feel vulnerable. I’m alone, and the only thing that comes close to keeping me company are my damn memories of her and that’s not very comforting.
I guess the second I find someone to fill this void in my life, I’ll stop thinking about my ex. So happy birthday to me. Seventeen years on this sad planet of ours, and happy to be alive. Go me. What do I get to do tomorrow for my birthday? Run around a track. Fucking brilliant. Not that I want to do anything, I’ve totally outgrown that whole Birthday boy thing, I don’t even care if I get presents or not. Such a stupid thing people do for each other. Lavishing each other with presents and greetings on one day of the year to show “how much they care for that person.” Yeah, really. So that’s why you decide to come out on one day of the year suddenly and throw material crap at me. Gee, thanks.
